On The Verge

I’ve been participating in a conversation on my new favorite website, Good Reads. The topic of the conversation was “Pardon my ignorance” and then went on to ask where they could find a better, more Christian book list, because they didn’t want to read books with “filth” in them.

Here’s what infuriates me. This was a post that was clearly meant to spark debate about censoring what you and others read. It turned into passive aggressive post after passive aggressive post–things like, “I’m not against homosexuals, BUT,” “I understand you’re a person of faith, BUT,” “I’m not for banning books, BUT,” and on and on and on.

Does anyone else find it tiring to have to sift through the double meanings of political correctness? Wouldn’t we save a lot of time if we all, I don’t know, said what we meant?”

The thing that really killed me was that the woman who began the thread kept reiterating, “I’m not trying to start a debate or an argument.” YES SHE WAS. She was. And I don’t care about that. I care that she should hide her condescension in kind words. In this way, nobody can call her out on the mean-spiritedness behind it. The same mean-spiritedness that happens when Christians say such kind things as, “I’ll pray for you.” “I just feel sorry that you don’t know the love of Jesus.” “You don’t believe because you haven’t met Jesus yet.” “You are a Christian, deep down.” Dear Christians: you do not have more answers than I. You have no need to feel sorry for me. You’re life is not more full than mine. You do not have an insight into my religious beliefs that I don’t possess.

But what am I getting all bent out of shape for? Nobody was attacking anybody, right? Except that they were. There is no more cunning and biting attack than the passive aggressive one. It is disarming, it is unanswerable, and it is cruel. So I choose to hold on to my arms and fire back–with honesty. This makes me “a mean-spirited person.” Haha.

This isn’t just a matter of religion. I’ve seen it in regards to my poverty and my gender, as well. I’ve seen it regarding the race of minorities or the nationalities of foreigners. And yet, we, the enlightened, are expected to treat these ignoramus’ as though they have some sort of mental disorder. As though they are crazy or slow, and just don’t know any better.

Bollucks to that. They know better, and if they don’t, I can educate them. Humoring people is cruel, and quite frankly, I don’t know how these Christians/sexists/racists put up with all of the condescension thrown at them all of the time. More than that, it almost seems that they prefer to be condescended to.

Does it make me a bitch that I don’t give a shit about their alleged disorders? Absolutely not. It makes me honest–and I’ll say it: Kind. It is far kinder to say what you mean than to attack with kisses and hugs. To be honest is to be giving. I give people the opportunity to call me out on the things that I say.

And I am nothing if not kind.

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